Good morning!

After much thought and soul searching I've realized that I've let so many things get in the way of what I really should be doing.  Unfortunately I have a very slow computer so I spend way too much time sitting here trying to "catch up" on all my friends blogs without success then push myself to fit in what I need to be doing here at home.   Actually it's more than that.  I need to digress a bit to explain what's going on inside me.  When I found myself out of a job in 2005 wondering what in the world am I going to do with myself I believed turning to painting and making jewelry would fill the void.  Sure I've loved painting and will continue to do some along the new road I'm taking, but I'm not going to let it take over my life like I've let it do....you say how can that be.  If you knew me you would know what I'm talking about.  You see, I have always been a perfectionist of sorts...early in my life I never completed anything so when I got older it was very important to do more than just finish...now I'm finding the important things for me is my home, my family and my relationship with my Father...I've been trying to do it all and I just can't.   When I tell friends I got disability not because of Fibro, or any of the bothersome things that go along with it, it was my severe memory loss.  It was causing me so much stress while still working that I think I was actually very close to a nervous breakdown.  Now I find I'm causing myself needless stress by trying to keep up with all that the Net offers us.  It's more than I can deal with.  I tend to go full force into everything I do...does that make sence to you my dear friends???  Well, I haven't been feeling well for the past couple weeks, infact I put off having my mom come to stay for awhile because I just didn't feel well.  I believe I need to take some steps backwards, and take a good look at what I'm doing to myself....yes I say that because I've allowed all the "things" I've been involved with to take over....it appears going to Church and being here for those around me have taken a backseat to all that I've been trying to do on the net.   It's been a pleasure meeting so many awesomely talented people and hope I can stay in touch with many of you as I take some time to get myself back on track... I've been convicted by my Comforter that I need to spend time being there for my family and myself and those around me instead of just going thru the motions.  I'm not saying goodbye, but I am going to say I'll see you later.....I love you and want to be the woman God wants me to be.
Bevie